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Others have changed the “ears” with shorter arms that curve in the course of the clit or suction mechanisms. If you’re short on storage space, you’ll love this three-in-one vibrator from Playboy. One aspect has a round, squishy head that capabilities as an external vibe.
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Have an open discussion about each of your boundaries and curiosities. Try using toys first throughout foreplay or solo masturbation so your partner can see your enjoyment. Start with something easy like a small vibrator or cock ring.